Confessions of a Bored Housewife

I woke up on my soapbox today and in attempting to calm myself down, I realized that I am still angry at Heidi. Everything that she's done has caused this tiny burning inside of me and every time I turn a corner, someone douses the flame with a little gasoline.

I understand the nature of opinions (as they relate to certain sun-don't-shine areas of the human anatomy) and the irrefutability of free thinking, but it continues to bother me that some people liken us to bored housewives, fat girls with chips on our shoulders, skinny girls who don't want anybody else to lose weight, obsessed maniacs and the like.

It further bothers me that some people feel that they so adamantly must warn us of the potential for failure, or of the logisitics of the California civil justice system. It's like the mother who warns her child, "Well, don't reach for your dreams, honey, because, you know, they probably won't come true."

Half of the fun in the process of dreaming is actually having the dream. I can tell you that 90% of the satisfaction in speaking out against crimes against fat (and formerly) fat girls on the Internet is the actual speaking out (not to mention the quiet and not-so-quiet Rockstars you meet along the way).

Yes, I was wronged. You are free to think of that wrong what you will. I, however, as a party to that wrong, am free to act on that wrong in the ways that my government has deemed appropriate.

It might not bother you very much that a few thousand of us were ripped off because people get ripped off all the time, because you think we were stupid to sign up in the first place, because you admire the intracicies of what amounts to modern thievery, because there are bigger and more noble causes to care about, because people shouldn't get fat in the first place, because you don't like it when people stand up for themselves, because you want to lose weight by any means necessary, or because you just don't care.

I, however, am allowed to be just as bothered by Heidi's scams as you aren't. And I choose to be. No matter the outcome. At the end of the day, I will rest easy knowing that I stood up for myself, for what I believed was right and did everything that I could to rectify a wrong.

So, call me what you will and I'll be that.

There's nothing anybody can say to convince me that loving myself enough to speak out when I'm wronged and loving others enough to speak out when they are wronged is a petty thing to do. Because if people didn't do this, I wouldn't be here typing this message to you and you probably wouldn't be free to surf to the ends of the Internet and read this.

Sincerely,

Jeanessa

aka A Bored Housewife
aka An Angry Duck
aka A Fat Girl with an Attitude
aka A Stupid Chick
aka An Obsessed Maniac

Confessions of a Diet Hopper

Induction just about killed me. When I woke up at 2am and had to go to the ER with my mom because of her pain - we have fibromyalgia to go along with the cancer - I was so weak and nauseous that when my brother offered me half of a *gasp* white bread sandwich, I caved. It was a slippery slope that led to a baked potato, too. And now I'm carbed up again. I really don't think I can put myself through the sickness of induction again. I read every word and tried every trick, but it was a rough ride.

Mind you, not nearly as rough as my 2.5 days on KK, but I digress...

I can't do induction. At least not now.

This, after I put all of my favorite foods in FitDay and was determined to make it (hopefully) some time in the future to a CCL of 55....

I appreciate every drop of support and encouragement and advice that you've given me and I welcome more. I'm still committed to a healthier me. I just have to figure something else out, something easy because there are too many other difficult things in my life right now.

So, "hopping" on...

I feel awful...

Energy - nil
Nausea - x10
Thinking - Fuzzy
Headache - Massive
Stomach - painful

I probably won't post more today :(

On to Day 3...

I am doing very well! I'm sorry I didn't post last night, but I was busy! I took lots of pictures of my food, but haven't loaded them onto the PC, yet. I will do that tonight.

I made it through Day 2 without any big incidents. So far, the biggest challenge has been fighting the occasional sweet craving. I am hoping to circumvent that by eating some of the Fruitless Fruit Leather, which I made last night.

I also made Cream Cheese Muffins, Just Like Stuffed Baked Potatoes and paremsan-crusted fried catfish.

Day 2 Meals:

Breakfast - cream cheese muffin
Snack - a small taco salad (1/2c seasoned ground beef, 1/2 oz of shredded cheddar, 0.25oz tomato, 1 cup of lettuce)
Lunch - 6oz. parmesan-crusted catfish, 1c of green beans in olive oil and garlic
Dinner - 1 and 1/2 Italian sausage links with 1.5 oz of green peppers and 1/2 of a protein-packed oopsie.

24total carbs - 6 fiber = 19 Net Carbs

My fit day is here: http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=jeanessadoesatkins

On to Day 3!

Day 1 Down

...and I'm feeling pretty good.

This was my lunch:

Fried chicken wing pieces and 1 cup of green beans with half a tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil and half a minced garlic glove. I had Frank's Red Hot hot sauce and 2 tablespoons of ranch on the side. Green beans never tasted so good now that I didn't have some sweet treat taking center stage. I do believe that my love of green beans has just begun. All this lovely food for a beautiful 9 carbs. I sweetened my iced tea (decaf) with two packets of stevia and I counted them at one point each (although I'm not sure about that).

For dinner I had:

I made two tacos with 2/3 cups of ground beef seasoned with Linda Sue's taco seasoning and I made the cheddar cheese shells, 2/3 cup of lettuce and a sprinkle of shredded cheddar and a 1/4c of tomato. Can I just say yummo. Good night. I could eat this all the time, everyday and not get tired of it.

I didn't get hungry today. I thought my appetite would be much bigger, but maybe my appetite is very large when I'm eating lots of sugar and white flour? Hmm, time will tell.

Well, I got through a day and, let me tell you, I am proud of myself.

Here is a link to my fitday: http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=jeanessadoesatkins

Induction Day 1

Well, here I am on induction and waiting for the icky feeling. I know it's coming, it never fails me ;) .

I am optimistic at the moment, though. We will see if that lasts to the magically, horrendous Day 3! I think so, though. God knows, I hope that I can make it through.

One thing I know for sure, the icky feeling of induction can't possibly be any worse than the icky feeling I get when I have too much sugar and too many carbs. And at least I know (or at least have been reassured) that the induction flu can and will end.

So, I made oopsies and had an oopsie sandwich for my first induction meal. What a way to start! The oopsie suprised me by being very good. Still, I added eggs to my sandwich which, I perhaps, should not have done. I am not a big egg eater. I crave eggs 2, maybe 3 times per year (and usually slathered in butter and syrup!), although I don't mind them whipped up or cooked in anything. But adding scrambled eggs to my oopsie was kind of like eating two slices of french toast with scrambled eggs sandwiched in between. You kind of have to be an egg lover to manage that. So, I probably won't do that again. But I will use the oopsie for my burger and in place of french toast, for sure.


I took a half of a multivitamin, some Chromium Picolinate, L-Carnitine, L-Glutamine and Potassium with my sandwich. Vitamins normally make me a little wretchy, so I am suprised to say that so far, so good. I hope they help with the induction flu symptoms. If all else fails, there is always my lovely Tylenol PM to get me through!

I'll post more after I take my neice shopping and traverse the wonderful obstacle course of my first induction lunch, snacks and dinner. Joy!

289

oh yes, I forgot to mention that this is my weight now. In November, I was 246, now I am 289. This is the icing on my pre-diabetic cake.

Pre-Diabetes and Me...

are apparently two words that go together.

I went for my semi-annual checkup and he said my blood sugar was abnormal and then proceeded to barrage me with a series of questions?

Have I been eating a lot of sugar? Hells yeah
Am I frequently thirsty? No
Do I have a frequent need to urinate? I don't think so
Do I have tingling and numbness in my limbs? Maybe
Do I get shaky between meals? Yes
How frequently do I eat? Whenever I feel like it
Do I get daily exercise? Nope, not really

This is Jeanessa in limbo...

just when things are looking up (kind of), I hit this wall.

So, whatever, life sucks and then you die? Apparently an early death via stroke or heart attack with limb amputation and blindness in my case.

Forgive my rambling, I am quite upset by this. I'll post another day when I am feeling better about life in general.